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Saturday With Uncle Beevomav..Tuesday Edition

beevomav

V.I.P.
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
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This week I pay tribute to the greatness that is ‘Animal House’

Dean Vernon Wormer: Here are your grade point avarages. Mr. Kroger: two C’s, two D’s and an F. That’s a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You’re at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman?

Flounder: [drunk] Hello!

Dean Vernon Wormer: 0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? 1.6; four C’s and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day… HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu…

[sees Bluto with a pair of pensils in his nostrels]

Dean Vernon Wormer: MR. BLUTARSKY… ZERO POINT ZERO.

Out of the blue, five star recruit Ricky Seals-Jones de-committed from the Texas Longhorns. He keeps telling his fellow recruits that Texas is still number one but a look at the history of prospects that de-commit tells a different story. Nearly always when a player says he is done, he is done.

Johnathan Gray quote on the Texas backfield of Malcolm Brown, Joe Bergeron and himself…â€We are the three-headed monster that no one wants to see.†From JG’s lips to God’s ears…

Bluto: Hey! What’s all this laying around stuff? Why are you all still laying around here for?

Stork: What the hell are we supposed to do, ya moron? We’re all expelled. There’s nothing to fight for anymore.

D-Day: [to Bluto] Let it go. War’s over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.

Bluto: What? Over? Did you say “over� Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Otter: [to Boon] Germans?

Boon: Forget it, he’s rolling.

Longhorn Spotlight:

Jordan Danks made his major league debut for the Chicago White Sox on Friday when he entered the game as a defensive replacement. He became the 100th Longhorn to leave Texas and play in the major leagues.

The 6’5 outfielder also got his first hit and ended the evening going 1-2 at the plate. Good luck in the future and we all hope he stays on the big league roster.

The Texas Longhorns return seven starters from a defense that led the Big 12 in rushing, passing, and total defense last year, including defensive ends Jackson Jeffcoat and Alex Okafor, who could be first-round picks in the NFL Draft next year. The offense brings back all but one starter as it welcomes back running back Malcolm Brown, all three of its starting wide receivers, and four starting offensive linemen from a year ago

On one publication, NCAA 13, the Longhorns were given a 99 score on defense. They join Virginia Tech as the only two teams receiving the maximum rating of 99 points. Offensively Texas was given a 91 point rating. Number one in ratings points is USC with the maximum of 99 points.

More Animal House gold…

Clorette De Pasto: Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married

I like this reply to will the Longhorns and Aggies renew their rivalry:?

Dallas Morning News writer Kevin Sherrington.. Always a possibility, but you have to understand why the rivalry died. Texas wasn’t too happy that A&M nearly sunk the conference. It doesn’t feel like rewarding the Aggies by preserving the rivalry. Also, when you’re scheduling non-conference games, the last thing you need is an emotional one. No matter how good they are, the Aggies always get up for the Longhorns. They’ve proven that over the last five years. You might want to play one dangerous non-conference game, but not an emotional one. Too unpredictable.

Bluto: TOGA! TOGA!

If you like Rankings here is a composite rankings of the 2012 version of our Texas Longhorns…

12. TEXAS — 12

USA Today: 11

Phil Steele: 7

Lindy’s: 19

Athlon: 11

See you next week, remember on Tuesday, where we will roast the Aggies…

 
Damn, I was hoping for a Niedermeyer reference in there somewhere! So I see you think RSJ is gone with the wind? I think the kid comes back strong with a Texas commitment!

I see a photoshopped classical 3 headed monster from Greek Mythology in the near future for display on the site.... That running back trio will be something to watch. History will be made! As far as defense is concerned I will take the ranking as a compliment but the team as a whole is better than that bunch in Virginia. I have hated that school ever since they put the beat down on us in 'Nawlins in the Sugar Bowl in '95.

Kiss Aggy bye bye because after conference expansion we won't have a lot of time or opportunity for non-conference games. Big things are coming! Cheers!

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Doug Neidermeyer: And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

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I hope I am wrong about our de-commit guy and have a feeling there is more to this story.

 
Nice post BM. So far you have themed your posts out with timeless classics. I appreciate the rundown on UT activity and I had no idea Danks made his MLB debut. Good to hear he is beginning his pro career. I always like him as a player. My favorite character from AH was Flounder. The scene where they take his brother's car and return it all beat to hell is hilarious.

 
Nice post BM. So far you have themed your posts out with timeless classics. I appreciate the rundown on UT activity and I had no idea Danks made his MLB debut. Good to hear he is beginning his pro career. I always like him as a player. My favorite character from AH was Flounder. The scene where they take his brother's car and return it all beat to hell is hilarious.
Thanks and the reply to Founder was a classic.."You f##ked up Flounder, you trusted us."

My favorite scene was the bar scene where Otis Day and the Knights were playing..and the huge guy asking.."you mind if you dance with your dates?"

Here is kind of hard hitting items for next Tuesday's SWUB..."Aggie Tribute Edition"

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