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A couple of blond jokes for a slow day


Chapalahorn
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These are two of my favorites, enjoy.

 

A blonde was flying in a two-seater airplane.

 

The pilot has a heart attack and dies.

She, frantic, calls in a mayday.

"Mayday! Mayday! Help me! Help me!

My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.

I don't know how to fly.

Help me! Please help me!"

 

She hears a calm voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control. I have you loud and clear.

I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground.

I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.

Take a deep breath. Relax.

Everything will be fine.

Now, give me your height and position."

 

She replies, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

 

There's a pause

 

and then, "Okay, repeat after me;

Our Father, Who art in Heaven ....."

 

 

A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar in London, England by mistake.

 

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

 

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given you are blind, to tell you you're in a girls biker bar and you should know five things:

 

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

 

Now, think about it seriously "Mister", do you still wanna tell that joke? "

 

The blind man thinks for a minute, sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, it's a good joke but not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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