Chapalahorn
Under Contract
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2013
- Messages
- 152
These are two of my favorites, enjoy.
A blonde was flying in a two-seater airplane.
The pilot has a heart attack and dies.
She, frantic, calls in a mayday.
"Mayday! Mayday! Help me! Help me!
My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
I don't know how to fly.
Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a calm voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control. I have you loud and clear.
I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground.
I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
Take a deep breath. Relax.
Everything will be fine.
Now, give me your height and position."
She replies, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
There's a pause
and then, "Okay, repeat after me;
Our Father, Who art in Heaven ....."
A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar in London, England by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given you are blind, to tell you you're in a girls biker bar and you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously "Mister", do you still wanna tell that joke? "
The blind man thinks for a minute, sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, it's a good joke but not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde was flying in a two-seater airplane.
The pilot has a heart attack and dies.
She, frantic, calls in a mayday.
"Mayday! Mayday! Help me! Help me!
My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
I don't know how to fly.
Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a calm voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control. I have you loud and clear.
I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground.
I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
Take a deep breath. Relax.
Everything will be fine.
Now, give me your height and position."
She replies, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
There's a pause
and then, "Okay, repeat after me;
Our Father, Who art in Heaven ....."
A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar in London, England by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given you are blind, to tell you you're in a girls biker bar and you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously "Mister", do you still wanna tell that joke? "
The blind man thinks for a minute, sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, it's a good joke but not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
