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UTfish

A little humor to brighten the gloom...

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Will there be college football in Heaven?

I had a dream last night,

As I approached the Pearly Gates, I was met by Saint Peter...and Coach Darrell Royal.  Our cheerleaders were there and everyone was singing "The Eyes of Texas".  Coach Royal shook my hand and gave me eternal season tickets to all the Longhorn games for me and my family.  The Big 12 is gone and we are now in the Big Sky Conference, which has become the most dominate conference in history.  The SEC is irrelevant and is just a member of the DDSC, (Deep, DEEP South Conference) from Hopeless Eternal Losers Land.  As we walked, he told me of the upcoming schedule

We begin the season with a cupcake game against bailor, coached by Art Briles.  Tommy Nobis destroys Briles and his offense.  Our subs are in before the end of the first quarter.

Game 2 is against Joe Paterno and Penn State.  No contest there either.

Game 3 is a replay of the 2006 NC game with USC.  I could watch that one for eternity.

Then comes Arkansas, coached by Orgasmic Bilema.  Our victory is euphoric.  Bilema can't control his emotion and cries.

Urban the Liar brings the Buckeyes in.  The truth comes out.  They are no match for our 'Horns.

The Turtles come back, but this time crawl out with their tails between their shells. 

 TCU and Patterson are penalized 1500 yards for and bad-mouthing other coaches and players.  They pay the price.

Okie Lite.  "The Man" finds out that he's not "THE Man".

K-State is the only other game that is even close.  They lose though because the Wizard is purple, and burnt orange is the favorite color up here.

Mercy is shown and only beat Kansas by 7 because after the kickoff return for a TD, the 'Horns take a knee for the rest of the game.

Texas Tech does not have to play us up there.  Mercy again.  They have already served enough time in hell on earth land.

Oklahoma.  Barry Switzer uses college funds to bail his players out of jail for the game.  Bob Stoops learns from this, but won't help him there.  Jailbirds are curb-stomped.  Forever.

Championship game:

Satan and 'Bama vs. Royal and the 'Horns.   The outcome was determined before the game began.  Place your bets and put your money on the Longhorns.

Of couse it's total b.s., but I got to laugh while I was writing it. :D

 

 

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