Around the Big 12 – Week of 9/8
Season: 8-1 (2-3 vs spread)
Last Week: 8-1 (2-3 vs spread)
Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the 2012 football season, because apparently it’s over. Alabama is your 2012 National Champ according to the “experts”. I know no one wants to consider this possibility, but maybe Michigan just sucks? Either way, everyone should have seen that coming from a mile away. So if you spent $400 to go to the Death Star last Saturday night, that’s on you, doofus.
Speaking of dominating performances, it was a solid Week 1 for Around the Big 12, with the only huge miss being the SMU-Baylor game. We nailed the KU and Texas Tech scores within 10 total points, and we were one missed KSU field goal from a perfecto prediction. Looks like the upgrades to the AtB12 computer laboratory have paid off handsomely! Around the Big 12 would like to apologize to Baylor for so severely underestimating them. It’s nothing personal, Baylor; it’s just that we hate you with the fire of ten thousand suns.
Let’s go to the Games of Week 2!
Miami FL at Kansas State (-7), 11:00am [FX] – Miami @ KState is a great starter plate for the Big 12’s Saturday buffet. KSU put a big final number on Missouri State (51-9), but the Wildcats needed 35 4th quarter points to do so. K-State was up only 16-9 entering the 4th, with total yardage nearly equal. Surely that wily old Bill Snyder was just sandbagging to avoid showing anything to The U on film, right? But when your offense consists of nothing but Collin Klein left, Collin Klein right, what’s the point…? Miami true freshman Duke Johnson is a budding star who will get 5x more mentions Saturday than actual carries. But he’s a real threat. This comes down to the wire, but the Cats win on a late field goal and then stuff the Canes when they’re forced to take to the air late. The sorcerer lives.
WILDCATS – 30 Hurricanes – 27
Rice at Kansas (+9), 2:30pm [FSN] – All you can say about the Rice defense is, they’ll make excellent linebackers bankers someday. They politely stood around and let UCLA gash the Owls for about a million rushing yards in the first half of the season opener. These are the hardest games to pick. Two terrible football teams pillow fighting their way through three hours of unwatchable football. Give me Rice to cover the spread, and just about the time you’re (gasp) starting to agree with Jayhawk fans that basketball IS a better game, KU stumbles their way to a miserable 24-20 victory. I’m putting the warning out now. The first sportswriter who pens a “CHARLIE WEIS HAS JAYHAWKS FLYING HIGH AT 2-0” column is going to get a virtual Cross pen through the neck.
JAYHAWKS – 24 Owls – 20
Iowa State (+3.5) at Iowa, 2:30pm [Big Ten Network] – ISU senior linebacker AJ Klein has mouthed off about ISU students wearing IOWA gear on the Cyclones’ campus. On an Ames street corner in 2003 I watched three ISU students nearly launch into a drunken brawl after one guy proudly proclaimed his allegiance to Nebraska football. I will never get that. It’s understandable, then, why ISU Football always seems to play with a giant chip on its shoulder. CFB groupthink will have you believe that ISU always keeps it close against big brother, but the Cyclones have lost 3 of their last 4 trips to Iowa City by double digits. Fortunately for Iowa State, GREG DAVIS has arrived in Hawkeye-land to make sure that never happens again.
HAWKEYES – 21 Cyclones – 20
Grambling at TCU (NL), 6:00pm [FSSW] – TCU was so excited to join the Big XII that they delayed the start of their season until Sept 8. The Frogs open with Grambling, which basically means TCU delayed the start of their season until Sept 15. Grambling is 0-1 after a come from ahead loss to Alcorn State. Why is this game on television?
FROGS – 50 Tigers – 12
Florida A&M at Oklahoma (NL) 6:00pm [PPV] – Boy, I bet this week’s Oklahoma University football practices have been lighthearted, jovial affairs! The Sooners looked like they were up past their bedtime in Week 1 against UTEP, which is silly since we all know that evil never sleeps. Shouldn’t 18-22 year old kids at least APPEAR excited to play in their first game of the year? I’m not sure what the heck is going on in Norman right now, but MORE PLEASE!!!! Florida A&M was held to 14 points and 272 total yards by something called Tennessee State last week. If OU gives up more than 6 points Saturday night, Mike Stoops’ tomato head is liable to finally explode, sending foolish blitz schemes, rocks, and general assholery flying all around Owen Field. The Rattlers are in for a brutal dose of reckoning. Hey at least they’ll win halftime. Oh, wait…
SOONERS – 59 Rattlers – 6
Texas Tech (-17.5) at Texas State, 6:00pm [espn3] – My eyes were glazed over at around 11:30pm last Saturday, brain full from a long day of football (and equal amounts beer). It was then that I saw it: Texas State 30 – Houston 13, F. It took me a minute to process. I slowly sat up in my chair and rubbed my eyes. “Wait, WHAT?”. I immediately reached for my phone and Googled “texas state upset”, sure that I had just hallucinated. But alas, Texas State did indeed pull off the ubershocker, beating U of H by 17 in Houston despite being a 35 point underdog. Can Texas State do it again this weekend? If the Bobcats take down Tech, Dennis Francione will start the season with two victories over FBS schools – a feat he accomplished only once in 7 years at Texas A&M. There’s no real point to that factoid other than HAHAH AGGIES. The scene in San Marcos should be absolute bedlam, as a school known for partying throws maybe its biggest kegger yet. But Tech will play the role of the San Marcos PD, busting into the house to check everyone’s ID, and dumping Coach Fran’s stash down the gutter. Bummer, brah.
RED RAIDERS – 38 Bobcats – 13
New Mexico at Texas (-38), 7:00pm [LonghornNetwork] – Yes, you probably laughed when you learned that Los Lobos hired Bob Davie away from ESPN (thank GOD!) to “resurrect” their program. But I spent the offseason wondering why in the hell Davie would leave Bristol for Albuqerque, which can only mean that UNM outkicked their coverage in their coaching search. New Mexico brings a triple option attack to Austin this weekend, which means Kenny Vaccaro can bag his limit of big hits. I expect the Horns to force at least 4 turnovers. Many thought Texas wasn’t sexy in the Week 1 win over Wyoming, but Malcolm Brown and Joe Bergeron both went over 100 yards on the ground, which I think is damn sexy as hell. I planned to write here that this week is Jonathan Gray’s turn to pass the century mark, but then we read this. Dudes, let him make mistakes. I want my freshmen making mistakes against New Mexico, so they DON’T make them against West Virginia/Oklahoma/etc. I’m stopping now before I get really angry.
LONGHORNS – 51 Lobos – 0
Oklahoma State (-13.5) at Arizona, 9:30pm [Pac-12 Network] –If you have some extra money laying around that you’d like to set aflame, but you’re out of matches, just go ahead and wager heavily on this game. I’m seeing many people suggest that Arizona is terrible and this will be an easy OSU cover. Really? True freshman QB Wes Lunt on the road at night to cover two touchdowns? Arizona slogged through a victory over Toledo, but they put yards up like bananas in Week 1. But just like me and my love life, the Cats just could never close the deal. Two missed field goals from within 27 yards, one make from 24 yards, and one red zone turnover. Plus have we all forgotten that the last Pac-12 game of the night is always when the football gremlins come out to ruin dreams and feed on the brains of student-athletes? Any OSU fan who isn’t terrified of this game is a complete moron. I don’t quite have the huevos to take Arizona outright, but they’re DEFINITELY covering. Maybe. Ahhhh, picking these games is such a gamble. I guess that’s why they call it “wagering”.
COWBOYS – 37 Wildcats – 30
Goodbye, and good luck.